I am so deeply discouraged with my life right now, I honestly just want to runaway or die. Nothing is go right and I am so frustrated to the core. I went away with my family but that turned out AWFUL. My mom continued to call me fat and called me a whore and said how we always ruined her life and we ruined her getaway. I basically ran away and had my boyfriend pick me up, fuck staying there with her. I can't stand her and I have nowhere to go. Also, I don't know about paying my tuition for next year, I don't even want to be alive in September so why pay for schooling.
My boyfriend, hate him. He is always telling me how to excercise and how to eat. If ever I'm hungry and he's not then we won't eat. I will go to his hosue and he'll be like you sure your going to eat that? It makes me sick, and I resent him so much. At the gym today he's like your much smaller than you were, you used to be husky. I remember you had a huge back and your legs were much bigger. Like really, thanks, that is what you remember from when we first started dating. I am sick of it.
Tomorrow is Canada day so I have to celebrate by getting drunk. But after, I am on a 5 day detox plan. I am so so so upset. Oh and i have to work in an hour, .. sucks. I work in a Winners and am basically going to pick up clothes for 5 hours, lots of time to think and be depressed.
Don't let them get to you. I faced being called fat and a lesbian thru all of my teenage years because my older brother convinced his girlfriend and all her friends that it was ok to do this to me. I left for college and when I realized it wouldn't work I went on the ultimate weight loss I joined the army and left my entire family behind until I was secure with myself. Maybe if you can't afford tuition you should look into job corp or into the military and get the G.I. Bill not only will you learn some great exercises and be in great shape (i'm not anymore since i got out and had two kids) but you will learn pride in who you are and what you can do that no one can take away with you as well as having a skill tht is marketable in the future.
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